“How do I raise a baby now without a husband or a home?”

A, a 27-year-old marriage migrant woman from Vietnam who was 9 months pregnant, had both eyes blushing. The reporter asked to reduce sadness and anger by thinking of the baby in the womb. However, it did not seem easy for Ms. A alone to deal with the despair that came upon her as soon as she arrived in Korea. On June 5, I met A at a migrant support facility in Pyeongtaek.

faith in a good husband

A met her Korean husband through a marriage broker in May of last year. She thought he was a good person, so she registered her marriage in July and got pregnant.

Ms. A entered Korea for the first time on March 8th after various preparations. Her heart swelled with dreams of Korea and married life.

While preparing for life in Korea, A and her husband went to the gynecologist and received various tests. That was the beginning of the misfortune that Ms. A encountered.

The obstetrics and gynecology department diagnosed the baby in the womb as having Down syndrome. Her husband and Ms. A moved to three hospitals and were diagnosed, but the results were the same. In the meantime, time flew by and it was April.

What to do with Down Syndrome?

Amid hopes and expectations for the future, the diagnosis of the baby's disability confused Ms. A. What should she do now?

Her husband told her that abortion was not allowed in Korea, so he urged her to go back to Vietnam and have an abortion. Her husband's attitude, which had been kind to her, changed before she knew it, and intermittent verbal abuse and assaults continued.

Because of anxiety about raising a disabled baby, Ms. A also agreed to an abortion and boarded a flight to Vietnam on April 27th. At this time, Ms. A was already 31 weeks pregnant.

Upon arriving in Vietnam, Ms. A went to the hospital with his mother and received treatment. A Vietnamese hospital diagnosed the baby in the womb as having a malformation without a nasal bone, not Down syndrome. Anyway, she asked for an abortion, but the answer came back that it was impossible at 31 weeks pregnant.

“I can’t believe this is my child”

Upon arriving in Vietnam, Ms. A, who received treatment at the hospital and was told that she could not have an abortion, called her husband on the way to her parents' house with her mother.

When he heard that abortion was not allowed in Vietnam, her husband screamed and told her to come back to Korea immediately.

A 31-week-old mother went to the hospital immediately after taking a five-hour flight to receive treatment, but it was impossible to go back to Korea without taking a break. But her husband was stubborn.

When Ms. A said that she couldn't go right away, the husband said, "Then don't come home. I don't want to live with a woman like you. I can't believe the baby is mine too.”

hostile husband

That was the last conversation that Ms. A could have between her husband and the couple. On May 5, Ms. A returned to Korea, but the password of the house where she lived with her husband had changed. It was raining outside, but her husband never gave her the password.

From then on, the husband treated Ms. A hostilely. He repeatedly threatened with text messages, and after Ms. A was admitted to the facility through an acquaintance, he pretended not to know and reported missing to the police.

She heard that reporting a missing spouse is the first stage of a unilateral divorce application.

How do I raise my kids now?

Ms. A mercilessly expressed her sad and painful feelings in front of reporters. This feeling quickly turned into anger.

“I am so disappointed. I only trusted my husband and came to Korea, but now I hate him so much. It makes me so sad that they show disrespect and disregard for me.”

The anger and despair of a mother at 35 weeks of pregnancy cannot be good for her baby. The reporter had to ask her to control her emotions throughout the interview.

In the future, Ms. A plans to file for divorce from her husband with the help of the migrant facility and receive alimony and child support.

“At first, I dreamed of a happy family, but now I am not happy at all. How am I going to give birth and raise a baby now without a husband or a home? I didn’t get any respect and now only despair.”

Tears eventually burst from A's eyes. Many migrant women live a happy married life in Korea, but the side effects are still ongoing.

Songhaseong Reporter